When we read in Deuteronomy 5:10, "punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me," we could conclude that this is not just by our sense of justice. However, in the whole eighteenth chapter of Ezekiel we see that children are not held responsible for the sins of their fathers. Then what is the [Ezekiel] commandment saying? It is saying that sin flows downhill, and the sinful influence of our ancestors affects us, overlapping and passing through several generations. This is generational bad news. The sentence, however, does not end with verse 9; it continues with "but showing love to thousands who love me and keep my commandments." This word "thousands" is really "thousands of generations," in contrast to three or four generations. How do we know it is "thousands or generations"? For two reason. First, it is the only way the sentence makes sense, and second, two chapters later we have an explicit statement to that effect.
"Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; He is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands" Deuteronomy 7:9
Sin and hatred of God cause the downward movement to three or four generations and obedience and love of God cause the upward movement to the thousands generations.
I have heard the following many times. "I had decided I was not going to be the kind of father (or mother) who raised me. I would become a Christian, marry a Christian, and do it right. "...
"I am in the second bad news generation; do I have to wait for two more bad news generations before there is a possibility of turning this descent around?" No, you do not have to wait, but unless you change your relationship with your parents and grandparents you will have to wait two more generations. Becoming a Christian and preaching the gospel to your parents does not change the relationship Home, with parents, is one of the places where a Christian thinks that they are allowed to lose their temper. The relationship then gets worse.
About 400 years before Christ, the prophet Malachi gave a negative conditional prophecy. It is found in the last two verses in the Old Testament.
"See, I will send you the prophet Elijah before the great and dreadful day of the LORD comes. He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers; or else I will come and strike the land with a curse" Mal 4:5-6
The angel Gabriel alludes to a portion of this prophecy in Luke 1:17:
"And he [John] will go on before the Lord, in the spirit of power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the fathers to their children and the disobedient to the wisdom of the righteous to make ready a people prepared for the Lord."
Notice, that to stop the curse from happening, hearts must be turned both ways. Although most of my illustrations are speaking to and about children, I am really speaking to parents about their relationship with their own parents. If you are a Christian parent, turn your heart toward your parents, and turn your heart toward your children.
Now we will look at the second instance in the Ten Commandments where we read of generations.
"Honor your father and mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the LORD your God is giving you" Duet 5:9
Application is next:
1) Love God (Duet 5:9);
2) Obey God (Duet 5:9);
3) Honor your father and mother (Duet 5:16); and
4) Turn your hearts to your fathers (Mal 4:5-6)
Because we have not obeyed the two passages in the Ten Commandments, we may be in the third- and fourth- generation promise, and we will not live long on the earth (Eph 6:1). The land is in danger of being smitten with a curse. The Malachi text is a call to repentance, a turnaround of the heart....
In turning your heart to your father, four elements are necessary. Preaching the Gospel to him is not one of them; do not do so, for this subverts his authority over you. Instead, you need to convey to him each of these four elements:
1. If you have confessed to God your previous rebellion to your father or mother, than also confess it to your earthly father with no excuses or accusations.
2. Tell your father how much you respect him. If you do not respect him then of course you cannot write it without being hypocritical. But you must tell him. How? First confess to God this disrespect for your father. "Why should I?" you ask, "for he has not earned it!" The Scripture says, "Honor your father and mother." It does not say "only if they deserve it." Your father is to be honored because he is your father. You are commanded to honor him. This is not optional. If you do not honor him, than you have sinned. The same is true with your mother. Sin is forgivable and repentance is required.
After you have confessed your disrespect of the lack of honor for your father and you are sure you are forgiven, then choose to respect him. You may ask, "How? He is not respectable?" Respect has nothing to do with the respectableness of the person to be respected. It has to do with the respecter and the respecter's close fellowship with and obedience to God. Now with freedom and sincerity, tell to your father how much you respect him.
3. Tell him how much you love him. If you do not love him then that has to be corrected first. Your reply may be, “He did not love me so I do not love him.” If this is the case, it is true that as a father he should have loved you so that your response would have been a loving response. But we cannot go back to childhood and start over. Even if we could, that does not mean that your father would do it any different the second time. We address the problem from where we are, not from where we should be. You are now an adult, and as a Christian you have an unlimited access to love and forgiveness. If you do not have this access there is a very real possibility that you are not a Christian. As a Christian you may have to confess this lack of love for your father to God. Is it sin? Yes, it is sin. It is disobedience to the command of God. We have been commanded to love our neighbors, love the brothers, and lover our enemies. If you do not think your father fits in one of these categories then perhaps you should study the unconditional quality of love and the biblical relationship of obedience and love.
After you have confessed and have been forgiven then choose to love your father. This love requires expression, so tell him.
4) Express your gratefulness to him. If you are not grateful, then as with respect and love, it is your problem, not his. The procedure is the same. You confess your unthankfulness to God. When you are forgiven, express your thankfulness to your father....
Also express something similar to your mother, but with one change. First express your love to her and second communicate your respect for her. Both sexes of the human race need love and respect from both sexes. Of the two, women need love more than they need respect and men need respect more than they need love. However, each needs both and they should not have to earn it in order to receive it.
Experts from the article
"Relationships with Parents"
by Jim Wilson
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